I can be a very sentimental gal, but I’m also pragmatic. I’ve found that if I make my expectations clear, I am more likely to be pleased with the outcome.
Take Valentines Day. A card is expected, a present is welcome. Since I’ve put that right out there, I’m 100% likely to get a card, and somewhat likely to get a present.
Some people tell me they think this takes all the romance out, or ruins the sponaneity. I say, how much romance or spontaneity is there in hurt feelings? By my thinking, I know he loves me. He knows that I know he loves me. But I like to be told in excessive and beautiful ways, once a year. OK, twice a year — we also have an anniversary, which is handily half a year away from Valentines Day.
I find that, in general, asking for what I want is a healthy practice. I also find that, in some cases, it just isn’t going to work; no matter how nicely I ask, or how clearly I make my wants known, the other party just isn’t going to meet my expectations. All I can say then is, “Oh Well. I tried.” (I find this reliably forseeable at work.)
So, for hunny, here it is:
1. Birthday: card and present expected.
2. Christmas: card not required, but presents expected.
3. Valentines Day: card expected, presents appreciated but not required
4. Anniversary: card required. Present optional, except on ‘landmark’ anniversaries. On any anniversary, a romantic escape truly appreciated.
I suggest you give it a go. Usually, your partner will want to meet your expectations — they will want you to feel loved. And if you help them along by telling them what you want, well, aren’t you just the most helpful lover imaginable?
Yes, you are. :-)
